Dear Daughter...

To My Future Daughter in Law,

This is such an exciting letter to have the privilege to write. As I am writing this, your future husband is walking around butt naked after his bath, proclaiming that he is the king of the house!

(He's always loved being naked)

He is so proud of himself, and at the same time, so timid and curious if he is enough. He needs to know that his mommy sees him and is proud of him too. He has such a sweet heart, but is very very much a boy. He loves sword fighting, bulls, riding "vroom vrooms", and transformers. But each night, he also needs to still be held and feel the love I have for him. He still needs to be read his book and tucked into bed. He is very very special. I know every freckle on his body and the difference in every cry he has. You, on the other hand, I don't know at all yet. I have no idea what you will be like or who you are right now. You may be laying in bed getting tucked in by your mommy or parading around naked acting like a princess yourself! Maybe my son will fall in love with an older woman and you are already playing dress up or reading a book all by yourself. Only the Lord knows at this point who you will turn out to be. That is the exciting part! Only God knows who you and Kody will turn out to be because He designed your hearts, spirits,and characters when you two were still just dreams in your mother and mine's heads. Even before you were born, God knew the woman you would become. Maybe you will be artsy. Maybe you will be serious. Maybe you will be adventurous. All I know is that you are perfect the way you are because God doesn't make mistakes.

I'm sure you will figure out that Kody's arrival was not exactly planned. During a very painful part of my life, I made a very dangerous decision. The outcome of that decision was your husband. I still remember the day I found out about him. I was terrified. I walked into the room to get my sonogram to see how far along I was. He was just a dot on the screen. You couldn't see any details yet, but let me tell you... in that very first second of seeing that dot, I fell in love. I fell in love with the perfect little baby growing in me. My family and I had a lot of hurt to work through. During those nine months, I learned a lot. I learned how to forgive myself and to forgive others. I learned how to rely on what God thought about me instead of what the world thought about me. I learned that I was a lot stronger than I ever thought I was. Most importantly though, I learned how to love again. My heart had become so hard and cold. I was incapable of truly loving anyone because I was too busy keeping them out of my heart where I could be hurt. Your husband taught me to love again.

When I arrived at the hospital to have Kody, I still didn't have a clue what being a mother was going to be like. I was still scared and unsure of myself. I still didn't know what it would be like to take care of someone else and care for them above myself. Finally after a long day, Kody arrived. My heart froze until I heard him cry for the first time. The nurse handed him to me, I looked at him, and then it finally happened... my heart learned to love again. His sweet face looking into mine broke open my heart. My capacity to love grew exponentially. He was my savior. What a blessing he has been since that day. Not only have I learned to love him, but I have learned to love others. God has since then softened my heart and shown me how to be vulnerable again. Sweet girl, my heart is also ready to love you. Since the very minute Kody was born, I have prayed for him. I have prayed that he would be a man among men. I have prayed that he would have a heart like David... a heart after God's own heart. I have cried through prayers of blessing over him, and I have besought the Lord to surround Kody with His love and peace throughout his entire life. I have also prayed that he would be a loving, consistent, and strong husband for you.

Throughout the years, I have noticed that a lot of women are overly protective of their sons when it comes to dating. They write blogs about the "rules for dating their sons" or comment how no girl will ever be good enough for their little boy. This seems strange to me and to a degree makes me sad. I have been in your shoes. I have been the girl trying to make his family like you. It's terrifying! It is like a big test to see if you are worthy of love and acceptance. I am sure that when you meet me, you will be clinging to Kody's hand like it is your lifeline. You will be thinking I am the big bad mother wolf who is hungry for the next "potential daughter in law snack." Let me let you in on a little secret.... I am on your side!! I hope that this letter will calm your nerves and assure you that I am not the enemy. You see, I don't agree with those moms. I will be the best mother that God can make me, but I will still not complete that man that Kody needs to be. God created mothers to prepare their sons to be men and show them how to follow Jesus. God created wives to complete those men. I am pro- you!!

I am fully aware of the responsibilities of being a mother now. I have so many things to teach Kody. I have to teach him his alphabet, how to tie his shoe, how to use the "big boy potty", and how to be a good friend. I will play many many roles throughout his life. I will be his cheerleader when he makes the big play or when he is doubting himself. I will be his teacher when he is unsure of what to do. I will be his disciplinarian when he decides to make some not so good decisions. I will be a shoulder to cry on when he doesn't get picked for a team or when his heart is broken for the first time. I will be his counselor when he is facing difficult times. At times, he will see me as his enemy when he and I aren't seeing eye to eye. I will also be his first girlfriend. I will teach him how he is supposed to treat girls. I will teach him how the Lord sees women and the sacred holiness of marriage. I will teach him good manners. I will teach him to put Jesus at the center of each relationship. I will teach him to protect his heart along with the hearts of each girl he dates. I will teach him that sex is an amazing thing made by God, but that it is a treasure for you alone. Everything that I will teach him, the fruits of all of my labors of mothering, are aiming towards one thing... that when he leaves my home to start one with you, he will be the man of God that you deserve.

(He will be your hero too)

I have prayed for Kody from the very first day I knew of him. I have also prayed for you from that day.I have prayed that you would be a woman among women. I have prayed that you would love the Lord deeply and know Him in a profound way. I have prayed that you would have a vulnerable and servant's heart, but that you are a strong and fierce warrior in a storm. I pray that you love yourself and are confident. I pray that you go to the Lord daily for your strength so that you may give freely of yourself to my son. I pray that you have a passionate, secure, and Godly marriage with Kody. You are constant in my quiet times. When I finally meet you, I will probably be just as nervous as you. I'm sure I will have heard all about you and have a picture in my head of what you will be like. I also am sure that I will be completely blown away by who you really are. That's the great thing about Jesus... He completely outdoes what we can even imagine. I am so looking forward to meeting you!! You are an irreplaceable part of my son's life. You will be essential to his journey that the Lord has planned for him. I will not see you as a girl trying to steal my son or some girl to scare away. I will see you as the perfect missing puzzle piece. I will see you as the perfect mate that God created for my son.

You will do so many things for my son that no one else can do:
You will make him a better man.
You will make his heart feel things it has never felt before.
You will show him the tender side of Jesus.
You will increase his need to protect his family.
You will show him mercy.
You will teach him what grace looks like.
You will show him a different kind of dedication.
You will love his best and his worst.
You will show him undying love and forgiveness.
You will give him the blessing of children.
You will encourage him in his role as a father.
You will be his consistency in a world that is shaky and ever changing.
You will be his rock.
You will be is hiding place when he needs to be weak.
You will push him and at times pull him.
You will stand beside him and behind him.
You will teach him intimacy.
You will be his best friend.
You will draw him to Jesus as he leads you in the same direction.

One of these days, Kody will look at me and tell me that he wants to marry you. In that moment, I will look back at his life. I will remember holding him during those still, quiet first moments of  his life. I will remember all the boo boos I kissed and all the tears I caught. I will remember the great victories and the painful losses. I will remember watching him grow from my precious innocent boy into a strong confident man. I will remember being so scared to let him grow up, while at the same time, being so proud of the direction he has taken. I will realize that I am the woman who holds and gets to treasure his past.

But you, my dear, are the woman who God has chosen to protect and experience his future. You will be the perfect partner that God made to experience life with him. Do not fear me. Do not think I don't love you. I cherish you. I rejoice in what you mean to my son. I praise God alone for bringing you into our lives to fill that very special place in Kody's heart. You will make him a better man and do things for his life that I could never have done as his mother.  

So, until we meet, I want to make you some promises. I promise to pray for you and your life. I also promise to do my best in raising your husband. I will do my best to raise you a man among men. A leader among leaders. And to help him be a strong, consistent, humble, brave, and loving man. A good man in a storm.

As you wait for my son, know that I am waiting for you. I am praying for you. I love you.

- Your Future Mother in Law